Word press help

So I’m doing this on my phone at the gym but the computer isn’t much different I can add to this with pics of the computer screen when I’m home.

To add a picture

Hit that blue plus sign. Then it’ll bring up the pictures saved on your phone just click the pic and hit the insert button on the bottom right and it will add it where ever your cursor is.

On the computer it depends on what version your using. I use the block editor one which separates paragraphs into blocks it’s easier for me but if you like to use the old version can do that.

This is what the desktop version will looks like. That plus sign up top is to add a pic .

It’ll bring up this screen. And you just pick whatever you want. So if you want to make a special quotation box click ” or if you want to add a picture click image.

Then it’ll bring this up. Upload means it’s saved on your computer. So it’ll bring up you file explorer and just find whatever folder it’s in and add it. Or media library so any pics ppl used before will be in the media library. So when i take pics at the blue coats game I upload them to media and then Jake can use whatever he wants for his article.

Then to publish and copy a link

On the app

Top right there is a publish button hit that

Then it will publish and click view

It’ll bring this up and then click that little square and arrow button in the top right

So I have an iPhone so just hit copy and it’ll copy the url and just paste it to wherever you want to share.

On the desktop laptop version it’s a lot easier

Click publish in the top right. It’ll ask you if you are sure click publish again

Then this screen will pop up. Click copy link then share where ever. So for like twitter just paste it into the tweet.

Once your a contributor you just have to make sure your in yellow jacket site. It’ll have an option in the top left that says switch sites. And whatever site you are on will be right above that. So as long as it say yellow jacket or might say feel the buzz as soon as you publish its goes right to Yellowjacket network.com

Sixers season preview

So last night’s preseason game got me so excited. Yes, I said preseason, I am going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to write a season preview.

I’m not really sure how to do this but I’ll start with some team predictions, then player predictions, then break down of the roster, and finally some more rambling of topics I think should be discussed.

Team record 58-24 1st in the East

Call me a homer, I don’t care, this team is good. I’m sure we have all talked about the defense, they will be a top 3 defense, maybe the best. But their offense isn’t anything to scoff at either. Joel is going to get buckets. Tobi is going to get buckets. Ben is going to average close to a triple double, j rich is a baller and Harford plays smart basketball. Takes good shots but also passes up good shots for a great shot. There is a lack of creation off the bench but I’ll discuss that later. Sixers will be top 3 in defense and top 5-7 in offense. Time to get on board this team is really good.


Joel Embiid:

Some pre-season observations: he looked like he is just going through the motions. I get the feeling that he just doesn’t really care. That being said, his midrange is in mid-season form. He is still getting to the line. And if this is him playing with a lack of energy by it’s preseason, well watch out to the rest of the league bc it’s not going to end well for you. One thing I did see last night that I’m not used to seeing out of Joel, he hit the high post, against a match up come type thing the Pistons were playing, caught a pass turned and hit the opposite corner for an open 3 for Tobi. That’s a pass that is going to work out well for him, something he hasn’t done before.

My goals for Joel this coming season would be conditioning and quick thinking. Joel cannot be stopped when he gets in the post, makes a quick move and goes to the run. Where he gets caught up is when he slows down. Even when he faces up and swings through, he can’t take his time. The quicker he decides to make a move the less time the defender has to adjust. He makes quick decisions he is unstoppable.

Bold prediction: he plays 70+ games this season.

Josh Richardson:

Josh is that dude that is flying under the radar. I think being traded for Jimmy, many fans focused on losing Jimmy rather than gaining Josh. Josh is a baller and fans are going to pleasantly surprised by him this season. He can catch and shoot, he has a mid-range, and he can get to the basket. and his defense is going to thrill a lot of fans. Josh is the non-superstar version of what we wanted Markelle to be.

One thing I didn’t like was him in the PG position against Detroit. Seemed a little too much on him, also I’d rather see Neto or Burke go there if Ben ever has to sit, I wouldn’t want to see Josh run down by the end of the season.

Bold Prediction: He’ll be in the talk for All Star consideration.

Al Horford:

I expect out of Al everything we already know to expect. Takes good timely shots, passes up a good shot for a better if available, plays tough defense, and exhibits high basketball IQ. Horford has been around, and therefore we should know exactly what to expect from him.

I believe that we will see Al rest more than we think. Last year he had some knee problems and he is obviously older so be prepared for a handful of games without him.

Bold Prediction (spoiler alert): He finally wins a championship and it’s with the Sixers.

Tobias Harris:

Tobi is my crown jewel on this team. First off, he will never play up to that contract for some fans, but that’s ok. He isn’t worth that kind of money either, however in the NBA many players who are maxed aren’t really worth the max, it is just how the league is worked. (I know he isn’t fully maxed but you get the point). Harris has taken a step forward every year, and I do not see any reason to believe that he won’t do it again this year. Without Jimmy, I think you’ll see him much more involved and when dude gets in a rhythm and hot it’s lights out, sit back and watch the ball fall through the bottom of the net.

Bold Prediction: Averages upwards to 20 a game. All Star. And much improved defensively.

Ben Simmons:

Here we go, everyone’s favorite topic Ben and his jumper. Well strap in, because we may not like what we see. I think expectations are too high for his jumper. A lot of fans want to see Ben come out shooting. Not going to happen. He isn’t going to take a certain number of jumpers just to take them. He is too smart for that. Hopefully he shoots them when they are given to him. If he isn’t open, we’ll see the same Ben Simmons style game.

What I would love to see Ben improve at is finishing at the rim with contact and foul shooting. If he attacks and shoots anywhere from 70-75 percent from the line, added with taking open jumpers, he is going to be a force to reckon with.

Now the bench:

IT’S NOT AS BAD AS WE THINK. The main problem with the bench is lack of creation. Trey Burke is really the only player off the bench that can create his own shot off the dribble consistently. But other than that, this year finally we have serviceable backups.  

Mike Scott:

The Hive stand up. Mike is that dude. Not many role players have taken on a following like he has. And you better damn sure be liked to come into Philly and fight Eagles fans at a tailgate, win, and have the fan base still stick up for you being a Redskins fan. It does help that the guys he fought were racist assholes. 

On court, Mike is going to continue to give you what he does. Defense and decent 3 point % and an overall good veteran prescience. And we know he has his guys back when it shit gets real. It is nice to hear that this off season he has done work on court, not just on dude’s head at the tailgate. He has been quoted that he wants to exploit mismatches and get smaller guys in the post. With many of the line ups the Sixers will trot out, Scott has a decent chance of finding the mismatch and getting in the post and playing bully ball. Much like teams, like the Celtics did to JJ Reddick. 

James Ennis: 

James Ennis quietly won the wing tournament last season. And re-upped with the team this year. Ennis will likely be the first or second wing off the bench. The go guy with put back dunks out of nowhere, offensive rebounds, and an occasional three Ennis is a solid veteran wing back up. 

True Story I hated Ennis when he first came here. The way he plays gives me massive anxiety. He looks completely out of control and it drives me nuts. But he did very well for the team in the playoffs last season and he grew on me. I’ll just have to work on my breathing techniques when he starts dribbling. 

Matisse Thybulle:

Apparently nicknamed “The Disruptor”, or so I heard on the radio last night. Dude is a complete menace on the defensive end of the court. He may actually lead the league in deflections this year. This preseason he has been all over the place, steals, blocks, just a complete terror on the defensive side. Offensively he has surprised me, shot looks good on catch and shoots, he hasn’t been over aggressive and turn the ball over much, and he has shown the ability to put the ball on the floor and finish. Hopefully that will translate into the regular season. It seems he is already in Brett Brown’s favor and my guess if not to start he will be the first off, the bench by the end of the season. 


Kyle is the best backup center the Sixers have had in years. And so far, this preseason Brett has put him in spots that highlight his passing ability. Kyle will be a pleasant surprise for fans when in the game in comparison to the Monroe’s and Johnson’s of last season. I think we will see more of KOQ than we originally thought. Embiid and Horford will play less minutes now that they have a quality backup like KOQ. 

Furkan Korkmaz:

Bold prediction: pop that Kork this year. Furkan cracks the rotation for a while this year, and will actually be able to hang this year. Watching this preseason, he seems more comfortable, a little stronger, and I’ve been incredibly impressed with his passing ability. If his shoot begins to fall at a high percentage, you’ll see him play more. With the guys the Sixers send out with him, they can easily mask his defensive limitations. 

Shake Milton: 

Best thing to happen to Shake is the Sixers finally figuring out that he isn’t a point guard. Shake has shot well, from what I watched this preseason, and again it seems as if Brett is going to have a deep rotation in the beginning of the season. Shake will have a good shot of cracking the rotation. To me he seems a little slow but he will be able to make up for that if he shoots well. 

Zhaire Smith:

I have no idea about him honestly. Undersized 2 guard that needs to work on his shooting. He seems as if Brett doesn’t want to play him in the pre-season so my guess is Smith plays a bunch in the g-league. Makes sense, he was a development project coming into the draft and what he had to go through last season with the allergic reaction, he more than likely has a ton still to work on. 


My guess is one of these guys are moved by the end of the season. Assuming the OKC pick, the one we got back in the Fultz trade, doesn’t convey the Sixers will have like 9 2nd round picks that can be used as trade chips. So, come trade time I can see one of these guys being moved for a wing. Especially if Brown sees Richardson as the backup PG come playoff time. 

As far as who I like more, I don’t know honestly. The concept of Burke is intriguing. But there is a reason he only got a partially guaranteed deal. As we stand today, I would lean team Burke, but I reserve my right to change my mind as I see them play more throughout the season. 

Jonah Bolden:

Trade him, cut him, burry him on the bench, for all I care. Jonah honestly looks lost. He is just a foul machine with a really hard shot that goes in once in a while. His basketball IQ just seems so low, and that’s scary considering his age and amount of years he has been playing professional basketball. He is on a cheap deal, and has the measurables that another team may want to try to develop him. But for the Sixers my belief it would be best to move on or not play him ever. 

So, the two-way guys I don’t know much to really talk about. Pelle impressed me with his defense the other night against the pistons. I would hate to see him converted to a full contract by the end of the year. I wouldn’t expect much PT with him being behind Joel, Al, and KOQ but with rest and injuries throughout the season I’d rather see him get burn than Bolden. As far as Mayok, from a little that I saw I don’t hate him. He’ll get a lot of run in the g-league and hopefully develop into a player in the future.  

My biggest concerns with this team are obviously injuries. When it comes to injuries that take players out for a few weeks or so it concerns me if that player would be Tobias, Ben, or J Rich. I honestly believe losing them for a short period of time would be more harmful than losing Joel. Obviously, the team will only go as far as Joel, but I believe they are better equipped to lose him for a short period of time, than the wings. 

Other than that, and I don’t want to be a RA-RA guy but this team is really good. My guess is they struggle offensively to begin the season but they will figure it out. The basketball IQ on this team is really high and they seem to like playing for/with each other. I just think they are going to be really good. I picked them at 58 wins because I think they start a little slow, and honestly just to kind of tailor my own expectations. I say 58 but I believe that they can absolutely win over 60. Strap in because this is going to be a fun year! 


oh yea … I’ll see you guys on Broad Street in June. This may be the homer ra-ra coming out in me but the Philadelphia 76ers will be NBA Champions after this season. 

Punk Music

so I had to do a research paper on punk music last semester. it was just an annotated bib with an opinion section after. i really enjoyed writing the opinion section so i decided i was going to post it so here it is.


            It all started at summer camp freshman year of high school. I was a little guy back then with not many friends. To this point of my life music wasn’t a big thing to me. I listened to some here and there but never had that connection personally. Then a friend was playing the New Found Glory album and I asked about it. To my surprised it opened a door into a whole new genre and experience with music. I connected to it, some of the songs and the lyrics it was like they were singing about me. Then came my first concert, NFG and H2O at The Electric Factory. And the obsession began and never faded, I still listen and go shows now at 34.

In the beginning of my research I thought punk music was a significantly new genre. I knew the Ramones started in the 70s but did not realize how much was done before them. Also, I did not know how the influence of punk spread from the US to Europe and back. I had listened and follow some bands that were politically charged but for the most part I listened to emo and emotional pop punk. Usually about girls that didn’t like me but I was infatuated with. It was cool to see how punk started as a political stance.

I had heard of bands like The Clash and the Sex Pistols but did not know much about them. To see how these bands started and how they become the voice for working class kids, kids like me that had trouble “making” it in the world. It really made me think back to lyrics of bands like The Offspring and Green Day, and I think I started to understand more what they were really talking about. They didn’t just have cool guitar rifts and drums but they also had a message.

One thing I found in my research that really stood out to me was all the subgenres of punk. To me there was hardcore, emo, pop, and ska. But to learn about Anarcho and Celtic punk was new to me. I have heard of bands like Flogging Molly and Dropkick Murphy’s but was not aware they had their own subgenre. I knew there was an Irish twist to it but had no idea that it incorporated Irish traditions and instruments. Cowpunk, which is a cross between country and punk is something that I have never heard of. But it’s real, and I may even take a listen one day. A cross between old country and honky tonk bands and with a harder punk edge is a wild concept to me, but you learn something new every day.

It was cool to read about how fashion and punk went hand in hand. Growing up in the punk scene I thought I was just wearing clothes, band t shirts and jeans. I never wore the black leather jacket but I had friends who could pull it off. No idea that was a trend started in the 70s by The Ramones. Knowing that punk fashion, spread from the US to Europe and other parts of the world is crazy to me. I was just a kid wearing what my favorite bands wore. I had no idea the influence it had all over the world.

My favorite part of researching the genre is the steady theme of attitude that comes along with punk music. It really does stand up to its name: PUNK! I loved the “we don’t care attitude” that came with punk rock. And reading and learning about its origins and how CNN wrote articles about how much it was hated and how it shocked the world, almost gave me a sense of pride. I loved that edge that came with the music and the lifestyle. I liked learning that it started in the 70 and was promoted with danger. Reading the quote from the CNN article about it promoting nothing but violence, sex, and destruction, and I imagine some snotty stuck up suit and tie writing it. And then I picture a young me with 2 middle fingers raised in a pit surrounded by a bunch of sweaty stupid kids dancing, moshing, and just having fun. Then I can see that edge, danger, and attitude that started with early version of punk and lasted throughout the years.

Punk music has left a major imprint on my life. As I sit here, writing this paper, headphones in ears listening to Senses Fail, wearing a Senses Fail tour shirt I realize how much of an impact it actually had on me.  Punk isn’t just a type of music, its an attitude, a look, and a lifestyle. my favorite part of researching was seeing how the pioneers of punk were almost just like me. A bunch of kids looking for something new, looking for a voice, looking for a connection and I’m glad they found it. Because if they didn’t find it, I would have never been sitting in that cabin listening to my first punk album, and I don’t think my life would have ended up the same.

In my research, in the CNN article Punk Shocks the World it references a Time article and quote about punk music from the 1970s. I fell in love with this quote. This quote from the 70s still holds true today:

“In Tokyo, Chicago and Paris, kids are bumping, grinding, loving, hating, wailing to the loud, raucous, often brutal sounds of punk rock… Musicians and listeners strut around in deliberately torn T shirts and jeans; ideally, the rips should be joined with safety pins…. the hair is often heavily greased and swept up into a coxcomb of blue, orange or green, or a comely two-tone … The music aims for the gut.”

Nature essay for comp 2

so this is an extremely rough draft. the citations are not correct at all and there is no reference page. i suck at writing in my opinion and would love to hear feed back from anyone out there that may have some ideas how i make this better. again the citations are extremely wrong, but i hope it is clear what i took from sources and what is my own. one thing to note is this is a casual essay. i just got my copy back from the instructor i guess i did not really give a cause and effect. also i was told i do not have a thesis, which i anticipated. i thought i did it through the whole party thing and its our fault but maybe it wasnt clear enough i can fix that though. 

Robin Williams once said, ” Spring is nature’s way of saying ‘Let’s party'”. Maybe he didn’t say that, maybe he did but that sounds like something he would say. But what happens if spring never comes? Is that nature’s way of telling us the party is over?

Right now, the party is still going, but nature, she is sitting there looking at the clock just waiting to yell last call at any minute. And it’s the party goers’ fault. Climate change is coming, if it’s not already here, and the harder we party and the more we act like we don’t care the more blame we deserve to take.

Coral Davenport (2018) of The New York Times, who wrote the article “Major Climate Report Describes a Strong Risk of Crisis as Early as 2040, describes a report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (Davenport, 2018, p. 1). The report suggests the possible of the Earth’s atmospheric temperature could go up by 1.5 degrees Celsius (Davenport, 2018, p. 1). A temperature increase like that could cause “worsening food shortages, wildfires, and a mass die-off of coral reefs as soon as 2040” (Davenport, 2018, p. 1). Among other horrific consequences of this kind of event include massive droughts, losing coastlines, increase in poverty worldwide, and trillions of dollars’ worth of damage (Davenport, 2018, p. 1). According to the report the cause of this type of temperature increase is manmade greenhouse gas emissions. And if we as the party people continue at the rate we are the party is going to be done sooner than we thought.

“The effects of today’s carbon dioxide in the atmosphere will be felt for centuries to come” (Schwartz, 2018, p. 1). John Schwartz (2018), in his article “Will We Survive Climate Change?”, points out the effects of manmade climate change due to greenhouse gas. Artic Sea Ice melting, heat waves, droughts, and flooding all mentioned in the article as negative effects of climate change (Schwartz, 2018, p. 1). However, Schwartz points out that there is hope, if we can control the atmosphere temperature rise to about 1.5 degrees Celsius, the amount of damage and human lives effected by climate change can be greatly reduced (schwartz nyt 2018). Unfortunately, where we stand now no nation with major industries is closed to meeting a 2 degree goal let alone a 1.5 degree goal (schwartz nyt 2018). According to the article there is progress being made though, by individuals and young people who have become leaders in the climate change fight (scwartz 2018 nyt). We may have not started the party, but we joined, and we started to ruin the party but we can also save the party and keep it going.

Richard Conniff, a writer who specializes in wildlife and human behavior, points out that to help save the planet we need to “demand significant action to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels and slow the rate of climate change” ( Conniff nyt 2018). In his article “Despairing on Earth Day? Read This”, Conniff explains how things are happening naturally that will help save the planet ( Conniff nyt 2018).  Conniff describes a conversation he had with Joe Watson, the director of Wildlife Conservation Society, where describes the four pillars on conservation:

  • A stabilization of human population
  • Increasingly concentrated in urban areas
  • Shared understanding of nature and the environment
  • Able to escape extreme poverty

All four of these pillars are happening right now, in the world as we speak, however “recovery will not happen if we cook the planet in the meantime” (Conniff nyt 2018). Things are happening to keep the party going, but we need to do more if we want it to never stop.

Climate change is real and we, as humans, are the main contributors. Green house gases that put carbon dioxide in the atmosphere are causing the earth’s temperature to rise at an alarming rate. In Davenports article, she mentions that scientists were originally focused on effect of a 2 degree rise, but now focusing on a 1.5 degree rise with same effects ( ndavenport nyt 2018) we are on a crash course for doom. If we don’t reduce green house gases, we are on a crash course for the police to come bust up our party. The world is going to be a completely different place than we imagine and sadly spring might not come, and nature wont tell us it’s time to party anymore.

Henry David Thoreau once said “We can never have enough nature”. As we stand today we are losing nature. Ice caps are melting, shorelines are disappearing, and animals are going extinct. But Schwartz and Conniff offer us hope. That we aren’t doomed. As humans migrate to urban areas animals are leaving protected areas and heading back to nature (scwartz nyt 2018). Technology is being created that is taking us away from coal and gas emitting energy. Even though we did some damage in our world party, and we are losing a little bit of nature because of what we did, is salvageable and with the right adjustments and advancement in the right direction we can make sure our party never stops. Like the old saying “Aint no party like a earth party because an earth party don’t stop”! Hopefully.


So the Sixers can’t beat the Celtics. Really it’s really annoying. Mainly because I hate the Celtics. 0-3 this season and a lot more losses before this. I think I hate it just as much as Joel. But I really think that is about to change.

This is a whole new team.

So I never finished this. But now I’m back, and the Sixers finally beat the Celtics. It was cool honestly, good game I was really into it. Sometimes I have problems going to sleep, so I use medical marijuana. I was so pumped after the win I actually had to go back outback in order to fall asleep. I haven’t been that hype since the super bowl honestly.

But of course the Sixers has to sixer and lose 2 straight to the hawks and magic. Who actually aren’t bad teams, hawks have more talent than their record indicates and the magic might make the playoffs.

Bad losses happen in the nba. I understand that. And usually I don’t like to overreact to any one game. But last night against the magic, man I was mad. If you lose to the magic that’s fine, but it was like they didn’t care. It feels like the Sixers are a little too confident right now, thinking they can bullshit through a game and then just win at the end. Losing happens, but when it’s lack of effort is when I get mad.

Watching last night game after the 3rd quarter I honestly believe Brett should have empty his bench for the whole fourth. I know you don’t bench stars in the nba. 40% of Joel Embiid still gives you a better chance to win than bolden or Amir. But Joel looked like he was running at 10%. If you are going to lose because you are bullshitting and don’t care, I’d rather see you lose because you played shake and zhaire the whole 4th.

Although there was a lot to complain about with last night’s game I’m really not worried. They aren’t going to lose in the first round. I understand the season is a grind. I think the 3 seed is pretty much locked up. I’d rather not see them coast to the end but the talent on this team will get them to the second round.

I also don’t buy into this theory of ecf or bust. Or that if they don’t get past the second round the season is a failure or the coach should be fired. There is so many variables. Brand new team, trying to figure things out. I think there is more pressure on in the offseason and next season than this year. If they resign everyone and improve the bench a little with shake and zhaire and the draft. Then there is pressure. This is a gel time.

That being said, I think they get past the second round at least.

Is addiction a disease?

WHO THE FUCK CARES! Honestly this is the dumbest debate I’ve listened to in a long time. And the fact that so many people are so passionate about it not being a disease is concerning. It’s literally the most unproductive thing one can be passionate about. So addiction is considered a disease who cares, it changes nothing in your life. When you wake up in the morning and go about your day the fact that addiction is labeled a disease changes nothing about your day.

And stop with all the Bullshit argument, well it’s a choice not a disease. So people with lung cancer due to smoking isn’t a disease because that’s a choice. Heart disease. Forms of diabetes. All that argument does it make you sound dumb and really shows your true colors. Let’s be real the reason you are so passionate about it is because you want to built yourself up by looking down on people. That’s it. No other reason why this is such a huge debate.

So while you are sitting there at work looking forward to Friday night so you can go out and have beers with your friends, or while you’re crushing some Budweiser arguing about how addiction isn’t a disease and how calling it a disease isn’t fair to cancer patients (yup i already know your next argument) think about this. That cancer patient you feel so bad for, you think they are sitting there getting chemo all pissed off because addiction is considered a disease and so is cancer? Or do you think just maybe they don’t give a fuck about it and instead really just want to beat cancer and live life with friends family etc. Stop using others misfortunes and problems to push your bullshit narrative that is only a thing because you want to make yourself seem so much better than someone who struggles with addiction. Stop trying to tear people down to make yourself feel better about you.

I do believe addiction is a disease, and there is a scientific reason for it, but I’ll let you do your own research. Honestly if anyone reads this that disagrees with me you aren’t going to do the research. You’ll read a meme that helps push your narrative and then continue to go own arguing your point to make yourself feel better. And honestly I don’t give a shit about your opinion or trying to change it. Because just like my original argument it doesn’t fucking matter. I’m just hear to rant because all these holier than thou Facebook warriors out there trying to argue this stuff piss me off. Grow up. Take a look in the mirror and try to do something to make your life better, try doing something productive. Rant over


In 2012 I was in Kandahar Afghanistan. It was my second deployment. Being a maintenance guy in country on f16s we don’t go outside the wire. We have computers and internet and ability to call home almost whenever we want. Work days could get hectic but it’s possible to find time to call home. After about 5 months one can get comfortable. Know I can call home whenever some days I just decided not to, because of pure laziness. I was 4 days from flying out of there. I figured I’d just call the day before I leave and the morning before take off and everything would be ok. But then in the middle of my sleep someone banged on my door hard. Scared the shit out of me I thought it was indirect fire that hit close. It was my buddy telling me I needed to call home. My mom picked up the phone, my dad was in the hospital and it didn’t look good. I packed a book bag and my first shirt found me a spot on a plane headed to Kuwait so I can fly to Vegas where my dad was living. Everyone worked so fast to get me out of there quickly but it didn’t matter he died before I even got out of Afghan.

I never talked to my dad, my best friend again. He never knew I made it home safe. I should have called home everyday. It’s only a couple minutes just to say hi and I loved him. I carried that cross around for a long time. Looking back now i went a little crazy. Between that and some hard time adjusting to being back home, I masked some shit with partying. Drinking coke girls anything to take my mind off it. I don’t think I really understood I was self medicating but it makes sense now. That was the biggest regret of my life, and I’ve done some dumb shit. Why the fuck didn’t I call home.

See what I’ve learned since I’ve become sober (mostly I’m prescribed marijuana but I’ll write about that another time) is you gotta let shit go. For years after I came home i was in such a fucked up place I was actually happy that my dad wasn’t here to see me like that. How fucked up is that I was actually happy my dad died. Crazy. But I’m starting to figure it out, the best thing I can do is let go of that regret and instead help my dad live on through me. Raise my son the way he raised me. My dad was always there for me I’m going to do the same for my son and daughter. I’m letting go of this regret and instead I’m gonna honor my dad in the way I live life now.

I can sit here and ramble off about 1000 regrets I have in my life. Everyone can everyone fucks up and everyone lives with some sort of guilt. But to me ranting about all the shit I fucked up is pointless. Mistakes, regrets, guilt it’s only bad if you don’t learn from it. A couple years ago, I partied like a rockstar in ac for a day and a half. I drove home fell asleep behind the wheel and wrecked my car. Should have been the worse thing to ever happen to me, and it sucked but I learned from it. I learned it’s no way to live life and that I was only hurting the people who loved me. So I stopped living that life, and became the man And father I am today. Outside of my son being born, that accident was the best thing to happen to me (that will become number 3 in feb when my daughter is born).

I’ve learned to train my mind and thing outside the box. Take what is given to me and make it better. Bad good or indifferent if you learn from it and change for the good then nothing is truly bad. This is not an easy concept to learn, and I’ll most likely never perfect it, but I’ll tell you the more I learn to do it and apply it to life the happier I am. So bring it on, and I’m sure I’ll keep fucking up but I’m done making the same mistakes over and over again. I’m done carrying that load and I’m done being unhappy. I’m gonna beat regret because I’m gonna learn from it and my life and the people around me will be better for that.

In conclusion I love you dad. I made it home safe and I’ll carry on your legacy and honor through me and my kids. You’ll live on forever through us.